Mary and Mike (Michigan)

For us, there were no assumptions that a positive pregnancy test results in a baby. Paired with a chronic illness that is so volatile during pregnancy, we encountered pregnancy losses too many times to approach such an undertaking with naivety. When some people are busy with nursery colors and themes or kinds of outfits, we were focused on our goal of "healthy mom, health baby".

At the moment when our sweet boy was delivered, my eyes searched the room for anyone else who grasped the significance of the moment. I just kept repeating, "We did it." We had made it through 9 months of high risk appointments, extra monitoring, and various tests. Through our 5th pregnancy, our second baby. A pregnancy that we honestly didn't expect, nor did we expect it to last... we made it.

Relief, exhaustion, overwhelming love, and incredible gratitude for the faithfulness of my husband, our medical team, our Doula, and most of all our God. Not to give us the result we wanted, but to walk with us so faithfully throughout the process.

It was moments after his first cry and when his body was placed on my body that the completely random playlist changed songs.  I heard the first few chords and told my husband to turn up the volume. At the exact right moment, “Well, hello, little baby” sang out as “I Get to be the One” played in what seemed like a hushed room. We wept and sang to our sweet boy as we welcomed him into the world.

We have not ever known pregnancy without loss. Going through pregnancy without any knowledge of loss would have provided perhaps a blissful experience. But the depth of love and vulnerability needed in the face of potential loss is an experience that changed us forever.